Beauty In The Beast

My 2014 Life Lessons!

2014 is not one of the greatest years in my life. In fact I honestly say that it’s a terrible year for me. Ok, chop! Don’t get that wrong. Terrible doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing.

Sometime we need some “mess” to learn valuable lessons of life. Though 2014 was a “chaos” but I’m glad for everything that happened because that makes me who I am today.

First Lesson (Above all, love yourself first.)

Oh. Okay. I don’t need to explain a lot on this. Read it and you understand it. I know you do. It’s just the matter you’re accepting it or ignoring it. Love, I believe is the 1^st list in everyone’s life. No matter how much broken heart or any bad stories we heard about love, still, we all are dying desperately looking for love. I had always in awe of the power of love. How it changes us and how it consume us.

In a right way, love can help you win the world but okay, the ugly truth is as much as it can strengthen you, it has the same ultimate power to destruct you. Look around you and you know that I’m speaking the truth. Friends, there’s nothing wrong to fall in love or loves people around you. But you have to keep this in mind, love comes with prices and the risk is your heart.

I know the feeling when you’re in love; it’s a seven heavens kind of feeling. Just the sight of him/her, you’ll die happily. Well, okay. I’ve been there and I understand how it feels like. You can love but don’t ever love anyone above yourself. I’m not telling you to be selfish that you’re putting yourself first before others in everything.

I watched Frozen too. Olaf says “Love is to put someone else before you.” But dear, don’t. That kind of love only works in movie or cartoon. Real life is way rougher than that. Don’t lose yourself just to prove how much you love someone who doesn’t even care to lose you. Unless, you are 100000% confident that he/she love you as much as you do. Always be careful.

When we broke up with someone, or worse get divorced we always say that they’ve changed. Have you ever though this. Maybe it’s not they’ve changed, maybe this is the real side of them that they never show before. Think about it. It makes sense.

Second Lesson (True friend is not easy to find)

In life, it is important to have family and friends surround us. No doubt in that. Without them, we’ll find our life dull and grey. They are the colors that help making our canvas more alive and beautiful. The greatest return and favor we could give them for being there for us are love and trust. Love that showing them how grateful we are having them and how much we appreciate them. But, there’s a but. Real friends are not easy to find.

We might consider them as one but doesn’t mean they are considering us the same way. Like it or not, the truth is some people are just taking granted of your kindness. When you have problems they pretend like they care but behind your back, they are the paparazzi, selling out your problem as the hottest gossip to the society. Hard to believe, but this is what happened, even the one that you thought your very best friend ever. Watch out. Turning to the wrong side when you’re down can make your world more upside down than ever.

But hey, don’t let this kind of situation stop you from making friends. I tell you go out and make more friend but you have to know the line in between. Who you should trust and how much you should trust them. Show them all of you but for certain things, it is better to be keep within you and yourself only.

Remember, even a family member can stab you from the back. If someone who’s connected by blood with you is dare to condemn you, what say about those who’s not your bloodline? But there are real friends and I’m grateful I have them.

Real friends are the one that accept you for you, even with your ugly sides and dark stories, who you can be crazy together and someone who always make you feel better even the time you’re crying like crazy over stupid thing. And most importantly, she/he is someone who will never judge you. If you have this kind of friend, you’re lucky.

Third Lesson (Walk away from the bad)

Be it a bad relationship, or bad jobs, or bad places, you have to walk away from anything that gives you nothing but a grumpy and stressing moment. You might think you could die if you broke up with somebody but naah, trust me, I broke up twice but here I am, alive and writing this.

Broke up doesn’t kill you but if you stay in an abusive relationship, you might die of extreme depression or a heart attack. Or worse, die of being beaten everyday or murder by his/her other girlfriends/boyfriends. Okay. You don’t wanna fight with those no-shame-fucking-annoying girl/boyfriends or ex-s. So, walk away. Let them fight among them, don’t make fool of yourself by standing there among them.

A guy who lays even a finger on you for any reason or a guy who’s your bestfriend mocked a “Casanova” is not worth for you to fight for.

Oh. Come on. There are many great guys out there who are still single. For an example, Tiger Shroff (okay, don’t judge me. He’s a cool guy for me.) See what I mean. Let go.

My inspiration! (Haipp, don't judge, okay.)

Don’t sweat yourself to force anyone to love you. It’s a fake if you do that. Somebody out there will love you without you putting so much effort to make him so. A bad job or work. Dear, I know salary is the most important figure you’ll see in a job. Don’t do that. If you can’t sleep at night, has migraine like almost everyday, or wake up every weekdays and say “Shit, I hate my job.” Stop it. Stop torturing yourself. Be smart. Start finds a job that suits your passion and once you find it, quit your job and go after it.

Life is too short for you to live just to force yourself doing thing you don’t like. The simple key to happiness is to live by doing what you love. It’ll motivate you to improve and grows better.

If you have to move to other city, why not give it a chance? In case you’re now living at somewhere you doesn’t feel belong. Find a new place where you can start over and you don’t have to feel left out by anything by anyone. You want to be happy, try that.

Fourth Lesson (Start Saving Money)

Money is not everything. Money can’t buy happiness. Okay. Fair points made there. I’ not saying I’m not agree with that, but let’s be realistic here. Now, everything needs money. You have to pay 20$ to pee. That’s how things work today. I never realize it before till that one day, when my dog was really sick. It was a wakeup call for me about money is important. He (my dog) was really sick.

He just recovered in this picture.

That time he passed out 3 times a day. I want to bring him to the vet but at that time I don’t have enough money and I don’t know how to drive and don’t even have a damn car. I couldn’t sleep worrying about him. So, I prayed and begging God not to take him from us but he was still sick.

Paracetamol was my last option and luckily that saved him (anyway, don’t do this to your dog. this is my desperate last move. If it gets sick, bring to the vet). Thank God, he’s alive till today, But that was the moment I start to realize that I must save money! Look, we can’t predict what’s gonna happened for the next two seconds of our life, what say what’s gonna happened in the future. Be prepared and expect not everything will go your way every time.

Save money for your love ones and emergency. The first step is not easy but you can do it. Start with a small figure. That will do it. You can divide your saving into category. Mine? I have my dog saving, house saving, car saving (includes driving license fee), travelling saving and future saving.

Don’t be too serious about life. I have this huge family commitment but I still plan something to reward myself for working hard and that is travelling. Work you ass like crazy but remember to reward yourself. J

Fifth Lesson (take good care of your health)

Health and safety first. Mark that. You don’t want to spend your life by being sick most of the time. If you’re sick, you can’t enjoy living your life. Lying down helplessly? Is that what you want? I don’t think so. Take this from my own experience. Last two years, my health was bad. I remember falling sick every month and have weekly visit to hospital & clinic (Which I hate so much.)

I was suspected Leukimia and had to go thru so many tests. Damn. I super hate it when people suck out my blood. That’s hurt, okay! Seriously. I imagine our body is a machine. Sometime there’s a part that will get broken and we could take it out and we fixed it.

If my body is a machine, like car...I think most part of it is not functioning well right now. The air-con, the engine, or the wheels are all broken. Geez. That’s bad. So, take care of your health, buddies. You still have a long way to go. Don’t make it ends early just because you have this little concern of your health.

Live a healthy live. Eat the right foods. Hey ladies, stop that stupid diet. Good body figure is mean less if you’re rooting inside. Spend some time for exercise and workout. Instead facing your laptop facebooking or gaming every day, go out for a jog. It could be fun. You can let fresh air in and who knows you can make new friends too.

For skinny babes like me, do know this, workout is not only to lose weight. There’s workout that’s good to help you gain weight. I’ve tried it and it works. So, don’t make excuses that workout is only for those who wants to lose weight. Enjoy your life. Do what you love. Don’t let your health get in the way. Take good care of it.

Sixth Lesson (Gratitude)

To those who loves to compare themselves with others. Say this out loud. Be gratitude. Be grateful. Well, hey. Life is not a competition. Don’t race with others. Just follow the flow. You don’t have to go their way or to be them. We can be happy with all we have, though it’s not much.

Why wasting your money and time, and torturing yourself just because you want to look like a Barbie doll? Hello. Beautiful is not lies on beautiful face alone. It’s more to self confident and how comfortable you are with yourself. Marilyn Monroe doesn’t have the sexy-bitch body; she’s still one of the hottest ladies because she’s confident!

I know how great it is to live in a bungalow or a mansion but if you already have a house, be grateful. You know this as well; out there zillion of homeless people are wandering around. While you’re complaining about your house, they are struggling looking for a shelter to sleep over the night.

Eat whatever food you could afford and don’t waste any of them. Imagine people at those in-war-countries that are fighting with hunger issue. You are way luckier than that.

My point is, it’s not necessary to have a lot for you to be grateful, but appreciating the little things you have is the greatest gratitude. Don’t compare anything about you to anybody. Look into the mirror. That’s your only competition. If she’s not smiling, you must smile. If she’s look awesome, be more awesome than her. That’s how it should be.

We all are born with very own blessing. Some people are good in music, some good in art…. There’s no such thing as “I have nothing and I’m good at nothing.” We are all good at something, differently. You just have to figure it out. Some figure it early, but like me, I figure it out this year. I love writing, poems, photography, video editing…and I admit that I’m actually good at it, naturally. Now I’m putting my effort to learn about all of that and make it to a good use. One day it’ll surprise you that you are actually that damn talented. J Waste no time and figure it out now.

The past might be not so good to you, but look back and see the good in the bad. It’s our emotion that blocked our eyes to see the hidden meaning of the bad events that happened before. The depression of the broke up makes you so avenge and paranoid of coming relationship. Then when you look back now (I did), you’ll be glad that it happened that way. Losing the ones we love that put us into a grieving heart. You’re too sad to realize that they might be gone for better. I’m sad that I grow up without dad by my side but when I think back, he was really sick and he’ll suffer more if God didn’t take him that early. You can grief but not too long. Your tears might hurt them (that has passed away).

Everything happened for a reason, God knows better and we might never will understand His way but have faith. The right thing will come at the right time. Sometime what we thought are good for us, once we get it, it’s the other way round. God never put you in a waiting if it’s not for something that worth it.

Never lose hope.

Lastly, I have this one experience to show you that what you get if you never lose hope.

I have this one cat (Kuning). I took him in when he was very little and he’s the love of my life. One day, we moved to this new house and not long after that he was gone. For a month, I was looking for him, praying that wherever he is, God please take good care of him. People tease me that he got hit by car or died somewhere there but I have faith that he’s not. I moved on but never stop praying for his safety, say wherever he might be. Then one night, I was feeding my dog and saw a yellow cat by the gate. It was dark and I have eyes problem so I couldn't see well, especially at night. But I have this instinct and I went out to checked it. I called his name and he jumped to my feet! I grab the tail (Kuning has this tail that got this curve at the end), it’s him! He’s fatter and cleaner!

God did take care of him as I pray for. It doesn't matter where he was or where he has been, as long as he's in a good hand and good condition, I'm happy. :)

See. This is what you got if you have faith and never lose hope.

So guys, what’s your lesson in 2014?